Dear Washington,
I will miss you, I will miss your many skin colors your crazy hair your low buildings. I’ll miss the khaki pants and fast tapping hills. I will miss your posture as the maker of the news, I will miss your urban diversity and lack of style. My soul belongs here, I don’t want to leave you for a beautiful view. Truth is I really like your fauna. I cannot hide behind a sunny hill and lecture of good in the world without getting my elbows dirty crawling the urban mud. I cannot hide in a picture-perfect landscape and be the Latina I am. I do not need to live granola style to do good in this world. I’ve always believed that those who do are missing out. Those who do not expose themselves to the worse and the best of politics and urban crowds and hide in a quiet corner of the world are missing out. One can teach love, compassion, and hard work to your kids without hiding them from the struggles of the urban blacks, the homeless, the immigrants and the amazing young professionals who come here to help us all.
I recently drove the GW parkway all the way from DCA to Glen Echo, it was one of my last commutes home from work before leaving you. I got to look at the Washington memorial, the tidal basin and the endless rowing canoes on the Potomac. The thought of abandoning you pained me. I will miss all the people walking around with a purpose. I may not agree with their purpose or their goals but there is no arguing they really walk with purpose, they are going somewhere. That was us too, we walked around in the same way and just like them we also came here with a mission. We dared to raise a family in one of the most complicated cities in the country where it was not easy. Nonetheless, we did it. we made it work even with me as a stay home mom first a non-profit worker after and then as a federal employee. We had a house, and we had flowers a dog and neighbors and barbecues, we had that normal life everyone wants. Yes, it is true, there are bullying and obnoxious parents and alpha moms and disengage dads but we made it work and DC, MD, and VA became our home.
DC is where we grew up and learned to parent. This is where we as orphans of a family built our own pack, our traditions, and memories. DC is where we grew as professionals, as “human beings who walk with a purpose”. We both have our purpose, and we both have tried to change things for the better. I will miss this swamp and all its creatures. I will miss it more than my white husband. After all, he is white and diversity to him is interesting but not essential as it is for me. I am the one walking around with a dark eyes, wide hips, and a heavy accent
I am a part of the world and I want to live in it, not hide from it. That is hard to understand for those who have never left their comfort zone or have been hiding in a beautiful corner looking at the struggles of urban areas through a window. So many Americans tend to get in a corner, define everyone else who lives differently by the same standard their media or academic books created for them. I guess that keeps them in peace with their own decisions. I grew up somewhere else, like so many in DC. I can see the world with different color glasses. I can appreciate the benefits of the “American way” and laugh at some of the ridiculous prejudices they live by. Truth is: I myself, after so many years here, often have some of those prejudices and have to catch myself before they take over.
Enough winning now, As the immigrant I am, as the warrior, I learned to be, I know I will be ok. I have changed languages, cultures and cities so much I will find my happiness, stepping on a ledge is scary we all know that, but it is also the only way to get a perfect view, and I have chosen to get a view the morning I packed my bags in Buenos Aires.
I will feel lonely and odd and will not like living isolated. I will fondly and lovely remember those who were half puzzled half horrified when they heard were I was moving; their horror reaction meant that they really knew me. I will also try to embrace what those who thought I was crazy not to be excited are seeing.
This will be a very difficult hill to climb, it will take all of me. It will change me. I will come out on the other side stronger. This life move decision was not fair to me, it broke my heart but I know that I will rise from this shattered mess I am right now. I will… and if you ever met me, even briefly you should know I will.
4000feetup 